


A Shadow of You

by tipitytap



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, au but not really, bitch imma cry, but not really, keith's pov, klance, klangst, pre-relationship klance, super angsty prepare your asses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 06:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17258963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tipitytap/pseuds/tipitytap
Summary: “It’s fine, Keith. It’s nice to see you smile again.” He looks directly into my eyes, and it’s like we’re right back on the battlefield again.“Lance, you have no idea what you’re doing!”“I know exactly what I’m doing, I’m protecting you.”“Lance you can’t do this. I need you. I---”“Shh, you can tell me you love me when we make it out of this alive.”Needless to say, we didn’t make it out alive.





	A Shadow of You

**Author's Note:**

> This is heavily inspired by a drawing done by elentori (on Tumblr and Instagram) portraying Keith uploading Lance's consciousness into a simulation like Alfor. So y'know it's gonna get angsty up in HEERRREE! Sorry in advanced---I showed this to one of my best friends and I made her cry(I still feel horrible, this was like a month ago)

(Keith's P.O.V)

_“When I die, I want my memory to be stored in a giant ship.”_

“Keith, it’s your turn.” Pidge croaks, wiping developing tears from her eyes. Everyone is crowded around each other, melancholy expressions plastered across their faces. Sure, the experience of seeing him was fun and all, but I have no interest in putting myself through that.

“No thanks,” I grunt, scratching the back of my head. Shiro’s body slouches, his gaze staring down at the floor. _Please don’t start this,_ I plead in my head.

“Look, Keith. I know it’s---”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Shiro. I’m not in the mood for one of your little ‘speeches’. Just let me cope with this the way I wanna cope with it.” Everyone seems to stiffen up quick, exchanging sorrowful glances and heavy sympathetic looks.

“Well, I don’t want my research and technology to not go to use. You’re our leader, Keith. Without you, at a proper mental state, we can’t form Voltron.” Pidge snaps, her shoulders rigid. But she can’t hide the tears bubbling in her eyes. “The rest of us did it, now so do you.” Her voice is thick and heavy with pain, her throat tight as she forces out her words.

Biting my lip, I stare at the sliding door that leads to the simulation room. I take in a long, deep breathe. Considering the possibilities. “What did he say to you?” I say curtly.

“Keith, don’t do this man.” Hunk chimes in. He had spent his lot of time sobbing to himself, whispering things that I don’t dare to know. He lost his best friend, his _brother_. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? Being able to talk to him again will just make things worse. 

“Keith, we have a right to keep our conversations with Lance private.” Allura practically whispers. I look down at my feet, my eyes flicking from each pair. There’s a sharp pain in my chest, the realization that one of those pairs aren’t there.

Maybe I should go talk to him.

Lifting my head back up, I make an attempt to keep my gaze steady with Allura’s. “Fine,” my voice comes out in a whisper, so I clear my throat. “I’ll just go talk to him.”

The group all give small nods, signaling me to exit. I press the sliding door open, and it closes shut behind me. The room is quite large, probably due to the simulation aspect of it. I won’t be utilizing that part of the creation, however. I want to experience this as close to reality I can.

My legs begin taking long strides down the hallway, my steps faltering when I reach where his mind has been uploaded. I fumble with the chip in my hand, ungracefully sliding it into its slot. I stare at the machine for a moment, when a painfully familiar voice sounds.

“Hey, man.”

It takes everything I have to tear my eyes away from the floor to look up at him. And the minute our eyes connect I break down into incoherent sobbing. There are so many things rising in my throat. _I love you_ , is what presses on my chest. What comes out is not what I expect.

“I _HATE_ YOU!” I bark, hot tears streaming down my cheeks. It’s like there are forest fires blazing in my eye sockets, causing my tears to boil against my skin. Lance doesn’t reply, he just looks down at me with loving eyes.

“I hate you for dying! And I hate---I just want you back!” I wail, my head dropping to the floor. The only sound that consumes the empty room is my sobs, echoing off the metallic walls.

“I know you’re mad at me, Keith. I know it’s hard, but you can still talk to me. I’m right here.” Lance coos, his voice holding that familiar sweetness, as if the words he speaks is just honey spilling out of his mouth. I don’t answer right away, instead looking up slowly at Lance’s glowing body. He’s in the familiar white and blue, his stance prominent and proud. His shoulders held back, his chest puffed out in confidence.

“I want you back…” I whisper, my voice heavy. Lance bites his lip, concern washing over his face.

“I wanna be back, too.” He replies slowly, his fists tightening as he says this. He inhales slowly as if that’s doing anything. Maybe it’s just second nature to sigh, even if you can’t breathe. My tears keep rolling down my face, but at this point, I’m able to contain my sobs.

“I love you.” Lance whispers, the hologram of him glitching slightly after he says this. _So much for composure_ , I think as I burst into another wave of heavy sobs.

“I-I l-love you...to-o…” I wail, my voice jagged and wobbly. My forehead falls against the cold rim of the computer, my tears staining the metal. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay long enough to kiss you,”

“It’s o-okay...n-not your f-fault…” I sniffle, wiping my nose with the back of my hand.

“But it’s not okay, I should’ve done it sooner.” Lance's eyes shift around, his expression hardening. “I’m in love with you Keith, and this is war. I should’ve…” Lance trails off, hesitating to complete his sentence. “There’s such a high risk of dying. I mean, just look at me. If I knew I could die, I should’ve kissed you while I had the chance. At least you’d have that much.” Lance’s guilt is so heavy it feels like another layer of thick air in the room.

“Lance, d-don’t blame yourself f-for something that’s out of your control…” I swallow thickly, my cheeks still stained with tears. There’s this strange feeling in my chest, one very similar to crying. I feel like I’m about to burst into tears again until hysterical laughter bubbles out of me. I shake my head, the creases in my cheeks from my smile causing tears to squeeze out of my eyes. “Even in death, you still blame yourself for everything.” My hand cups around my eyes, resting my head in my palm.

Lance’s laughter fills the room along with mine, his sounding much more relaxed. “I-I’m sorry, Lance...I’m just in shock.”

He stifles more laughter, his smile still beautiful as it always is---was. That’s the thing about death, is shifts to was.

“It’s fine, Keith. It’s nice to see you smile again.” He looks directly into my eyes, and it’s like we’re right back on the battlefield again. 

_“Lance, you have no idea what you’re doing!”_  
_“I know exactly what I’m doing, I’m protecting you.”_  
_“Lance you can’t do this. I need you. I---”_  
_“Shh, you can tell me you love me when we make it out of this alive.”_

Needless to say, _we_ didn’t make it out alive.

“Yeah, it feels good to smile again.” I bite my bottom lip, wiping my nose. I force myself up on my knees so I’m standing slightly more level with Lance. He’s still taller than me, due to the stand of the hologram. But there’s a certain amount of comfort, that even if he was standing ground level with me, he would still be taller. Even if only by a small amount.

“Wait, are you leaving?” Lance asks, franticness in his voice.

“No, don’t worry.” I wave my hand as if to shew the thought away. “I just figured I should get off the floor.”

Lance chuckles, nodding slightly. “Right, makes sense. It was kinda hard to see you with you so low.” I nod, scratching the back of my neck. Lance’s eyes flick around thoughtfully, searching for something to say. “So, how’re you feeling? Y’know, despite the uncontrollable sobbing and such.”

I swallow hard, my vision glancing to the ground before looking back up at Lance. “I dunno, I just kinda feel...empty. Like my head has been hollowed out or something.” I wring my hands together, my throat tightening once again. “I keep expecting to hear your voice but it’s just...not there. And then I just feel unfulfilled.” I chew on the inside of my cheek, my chest feeling heavy. “I still can’t believe it’s been two months since you…” I can’t bring myself to say it, not again.

“Me either,” Lance whispers. “I hate it.”

“Yeah.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, which makes me realize it’s trembling when it’s against my skin. I quickly drop my arm down at my side. “Hey, do you remember when we first met? I mean for the second time?”

Lance nods.

“I did remember you, I recognized you immediately when you walked through the door.” I feel a smile creeping onto my face, and I touch my thumb to my lip.

“Jerk! Why’d you pretend you didn’t know me?” Lance’s artificial outrage is enough to cause me to laugh, and I shake my head in shame.

“Because my disastrous gay ass had a massive crush on you, so I just pretended I didn't know you so I could ignore my feelings.” I shake my head, rubbing my temple.

“Air-tight plan, Kogane.” Lance teases. I facepalm, shaking my head in my hand.

“Pretty pathetic, right?” I remark. Lance answers by chuckling more. I rub my upper arms with my hands, swallowing hard. “Y’know...I’ll try to talk to you as often as I can.”

“I know…” Lance’s eyes soften, his gaze lingering on my lips before they flick back up to my eyes. “If you don’t, I’ll personally fly over to you and kick your ass.” I roll my eyes, scratching the back of my head. 

“I’m sorry, but I should probably go now.” I sigh heavily, my heart sinking into my stomach when I see the disappointment in Lance’s expression. “I’ve got a lot to do, with saving the universe and all.”

“Right,” Lance swallows, looking me directly in the eyes. “I love you, Keith.” He says, his voice firm. Yet it has a certain softness to it. There’s no bullshit between the two of us. He loves me, in all honesty.

“I love you too, Lance.” My throat tightens when I say his name, and I lean down to pull the chip out of the computer. Lance’s hologram fazes before snapping off, the glowing blue light no longer there. It’s absence making the room feel hollow. I lean up, biting the inside of my cheek. I pivot on my feet, walking stiffly out of the room. The door sliding shut behind me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Sorry if this was a cry fest, blame my friend (aka the one I made cry with this fic) she challenged me to write an angsty fic in Keith's point of view so HERE WE ARE!


End file.
